Right the blog is set up and I feel like the Journey has started.
So lots of thoughts to get down in B&W.
Firstly: Why do a blog? I have no idea other than being aware that my mind flits around so much I can't remember what I was doing yesterday let alone last week etc.. I am therefore hoping that this will be a personal record of the Journey I'm embarking on over the next 18 or so months.
Secondly: Why now? Well, in the not too distance future it will soon be my 40th birthday. It's a destiny that is hard to avoid. When I was a child 40 was nearly dead, however now I'm nearing 40 that child remains unchanged other than it now hurts to do somersaults on the grass or swing on the monkey bars at the park. When did that happen? Someone told me once that a definition of 'middle age' is when you start groaning on simple movements. Sadly middle age was entered a while back.
Most people consider a mid-life crisis nearing middle age and if that is 40 or when the groaning starts then this is the right time. Few people go through with their mid-life crisis and the ones that do either buy a sports car or have an affair. Well I haven't got the spare cash or energy for either and marriage, home life and parenthood is far too rewarding to do anything too stupid. So another crisis is required:
I have always enjoyed exercise especially if it revolves around the outdoors and have always sort out competition in any sport or sports that I have done. However it has taken me a full 30 years to realise that the only competition that drives me is internal and not for any prize giving, trophy or congratulations. Maybe the adulation I seek the most I know I can never attain. What am I left with?
It is as a parent that I have finally felt staggering uncontrollable emotion. A real quantifiable wholeness or completeness created by things so small. This emotional bond has been felt most notably on 2 occasions. The moment of holding my first born in my arms, skin on skin for what seemed like an eternity, lost in time. Without any awareness of outside worries or concerns whilst feeling the most worried and concerned about the future. This ranks as the happiest moment of my life. However holding my second child of 11 months old in my arms in the burns unit, sedated, bandaged up with a nasal feeding tube and with swelling to the point where he was struggling to hold his head up or open his eyes ranks as the saddest moment of my life. We are now 6 months on and the memories are still vivid, evoking deep emotions.
One second we were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning breakfast, the next our world was turned up-side-down and the Burns Unit at Sheffield's Children's Hospital became our home from home. J and A stayed there for 10 days cared for excellently under the many teams of specialists. We have had one further stay and many subsequent visits. All of the staff have been and are amazing and testament to this is the fact that now 6 months later J continues to develop as a vibrant happy, cheeky little monkey with as few reminders as possible. Our penance is to manage his scars via special cream 4 x a day, dressing in a compression top and ensuring that he is never in sunlight without factor 50 at least for the next year.
We want to make sure that we say a formal thank you to Sheffield Children's Hospital, in particular the Burns unit and especially the Team that transform the ward into a specialist unit. The only way to do this is to hopefully raise a few pounds for the Charity and to help raise their profile in order to help facilitate them treating another little person to the same high standards of care.
How am I going to do this? Back to the mid-life crisis? Run a marathon? That sounds tough. But I have done a few races before and I really want to do something significant, a challenge that pushes me harder and hopefully will helping to raise a few more pounds.
Providing my arthritic body holds up I plan to complete 40 marathons in the first 40 weeks of my 40th Year. Yes this sounds like a 'suitable challenge'. Or is that a typo, should it be 'stupid challenge'.
